That's all it took, one click of a button (8/17/2008)

I wish I hadn't seen you out in Chico that night before I moved away. I wish I hadn't let you come home with me that night. I wish I hadn't slept with you one more last time. I wish you didn't tell me that I messed up your life plan when you saw me out that night. I wish I hadn't written you letters to keep you company. I wish I didn't keep in touch with you when I moved. I wish you didn't ask me to come see you. I wish you hadn't written me on Classmates 2 years ago. I wish you wouldn't have kept emailing me all day everyday for about 3 weeks. I wish you didn't ask me to meet you after work one night so we could see eachother for the first time in years. I wish you didn't look at me the way you did that night. I wish you didn't tell me the things you told me. I wish you didn't hug me when we saw eachother. I wish I could erase the images of you in Wrangler's and Airwalks. I wish I could forget your favorite song. I wish you hadn't shown me the picture of her with him. I wish I hadn't run into your mom the times I did, only to hear how you were doing. I wish I wasn't recognized by your sister-in-law at Walmart. I wish I had the will to get rid of the photos and all the other memoriablia. I wish the last time we spoke was when you picked up your things from my apartment. I wish I could suffer from long term memory loss so that your out of my head for good. I wish I hadn't began talking to her. I wish that I did't remember so much about you. I wish that I didn't have a dream about you today. I wish I wouldn't have thoughts about you two not working out. I wish I would have never given you my whole heart, because I didn't know you would never give it back. I wish that I could just get over it all. I wish I could go back in time and erase the past so that I would have never met you.

I wish for a lot, but I don't regret any of it. I just want to finally be over you. I thought I was over you and had closure, until I checked my email 2 years ago.