Just one thing after another (8/4/2008)

So last night when I came home from work I had a lot of stuff on my mind. It just kept running through my head, and everytime it would make me more mad then I already was. And really, everything is so stupid, and I think that's what makes it worse.

*************************************************************

Today I woke up to Chandler meowing to be let in. I didn't get up, he eventually went away. Then Oliver started yipping that puppy bark. I also didn't get out of bed for him. About 2 hours later, I slowly wake up and noticed that my neck is stiff as hell! It hurts so bad. Then the neighbors yard service starts mowing her lawn. It's freakin 8am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got up and took some ibuprofen. It's only an hour later, but hopefully the pain will go away by this afternoon.

************************************************************************************

I hate trying to be friends with someone that I've never met. I consider myself to be too nice most of the time, and give people the benefit of the doubt until I get to know them. Most of the time, they become friends of mine.

But for some reason this person I've encountered doesn't seem to really care. I've been nice, never have said anything to make her think badly of me, I've invited her out multiple times with my group of friends.

Little comments that probably mean nothing, really get to me. I need to work on that. I think that's the only personality flaw that I have. That I take things that aren't directly meant to hurt ones feelings, and let them get to me.

*Olivia* lives miles away from me. She might as well be in another state that's how far we are from eachother. We have no past together, we've only talked online. I feel like there are things we have in common and that we'd have a fun time if we hung out and really got to know eachother. Like I said, I give people the benefit of the doubt until I'm proved wrong.

You know how when you overhear someone talking suspicisouly about someone, and you think that maybe they are talking about you? Well that's how I feel, but this time I know they are talking about me, and all I've ever done is be nice and just try to be friendly.

I guess you can only be friends with people who choose to be friends back.

************************************************************************************

And then there's this girl that I have been friends with over 5 years. I've brought up a conversation we've had over a holiday with a coworker and my aunt. Both of thier jaws dropped when I told them what she said to me. And seriously after she left my house, I said to my husband, "How dare she say something like that to my face! And in MY home!"


What was said you wonder? Well, this is what she said to me:

"I don't think I would be friends with you, if I had met you now."

So, I asked her why, as I laughed it off, trying to cover up the shock and hurt that she just inflicted on me. She said because that I'm materialistic with my expensive purses, shoes, jeans etc...how I always have nice things, my hair is all shiny/glossy and that I straighten my straight hair, mani's & pedi's, etc...She might as well have called me "Paris Hilton".

There's things that I could say in response to her opinion of me, but I'm not that type of person. I don't talk bad about anyone I know. It just hurt me to hear someone that I called a best friend for the past 5 years tell me that if they had met me know they wouldn't be friends with me, based on how I am on the outside.

***********************************************************************************

I miss my BFF so much. These are the type of things I go to her with. She is someone that understands me, protects me, listens to me, loves me, cares about me and my family, knows me inside and out, knows ALL of my secrets.Living without her in my daily life has been hard.

Our last night out together was the one of the best nights we had together. And we've had some wild times together!!! But our last night was spent at Woodstocks Pizza in downtown Chico, singing along to some rock-n-roll christmas carols, being sung by the best christmas band ever...The Yule Logs! We were both all decked out in christmas colors, and having the best time at our favorite bar; Joe's!!

We've spent so many nights together at Joe's. It's OUR bar. We are always there if we are out in Chico. We never had to show our ID, we knew the names of the bartenders, the door guys, the bouncers, and the girls that brought us our beers! We've been on top of the bar making out, taking WET PUSSY & BLOW JOB shots on our birthdays, sleeping with the bartender (she did, not me!) and singing at the top of our lungs to Journey, while playing 1-4-24 with my ex boyfriend!

We had our share of baskets of peanuts, and strawberry feilds forever, rum & cokes for her, and vanilla kokks for me. We even danced in the sawdust and made ourselves feel like hamsters. It's just one of those places "Where everybody knows your name"