Coping..

So this morning I had my first counseling session. How many more are to follow I don't know, but I have another appointment next week.

I guess I'm having to go through this because apparently I still have issues from over 20 years ago. Which include loosing family members and very close friends either by death or someone else.

I know that when traumatic things happen in my life I don't usually talk about them and how I feel, which isn't good. You'd think that I could talk to my husband about it freely, I mean we've been each others support system for the past 9 years but for some reason, that's not how we cope.

I usually bitch and complain, get very irritable and annoyed with everyone. I go shopping to relieve stress which is never a good thing in the long run, but helps at the moment.

I'm still dealing with the death of my grandpa and haven't really accepted it I guess. I cried all night when it happened and had to take time off from work, and slept all weekend, but I haven't accepted it. Will I ever?