Om Mani Padme Hum

I think I found my new tatto that I want to get on my wrist. Not sure if it will all fit on mine though, since my wrists aren't that big...we'll see what Kip has to say.





Om Mani Padme Hum

Wrist Tattoos

So I've been thinking about tattoos lately.

I would like to have mine finished, maybe by then of March it will be. I'm going to have pink stars with (glittery effects hopefully) the words 'Taking the long way to wide open spaces' some where in the mix.

(Oh, this is all a part of my existing chicken feet)

So, back to the thoughts I've been having about Tattoos...I want a wrist tattoo.

(I know Chole, you don't get the infatuation with them!)

I need some help deciding what I want though. I know I want it to be in a girly frilly cursive font & one word. Here are a few ideas I have so far:

1. Amoré (which is love in french)
2. Believe
3. Hope
4. Imagine
5. Hope

So give me your ideas or tell me which one you like best!

When the lights go down, in The City....

And the sun shines on the bay
I want to be there in my City




So next week we are going to San Francisco for the Chinese New Year Celebrations!

I'm so excited, not only to experience something new up close and personal, but to be back in The City By The Bay!

I heart SF so much! I want to live there, more than I ever wanted to live in NYC!
(I wanted to live in NYC just like Josh from "Big"...you know, a big, empty, spacious, industrial looking, loft apartment. Right in the middle of downtown NYC!)

So we're making a short weekend trip to the City and hopefully the girls will be so excited by everything around them that they won't have time to argue with each other. Hopefully.

We may even make in over to Grandmas house on the other side of the bay. Haven't seen her since Carissa & I were down there for Bay To Breakers in May.

Also, we are getting ready to purchase either plane tickets or get our car ready for a BIG trip! Can't wait till the girls are out of school! We are headed for PA! We're planning to leave the week after the girls get out of school, and try to stay at least for 4th of July. We'll see, that's another posting in itself!

Enjoy your week!

My Fellow Citizens

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

The 1st Monthly Girls Night

Nichole and I started a new monthly tradition for our blossoming friendship...GIRLS NIGHT!!! I may need it more than she does occasionally, but it's so worth it.

For our first dinner this past friday night, we chose to go to Johnny Garlic's in Roseville, which is owned by my favorite Food Network Chef/Host Guy Fieri...He also owns Tex Wasabi's which is on our list as well, even though we've both eaten there, just not together.

We both had Cosmo's (girly I know, but you can't trust new bartenders to make your favorite drink when you are served by them for the first time) THEY WERE THE BEST Cosmo's EVER!!!! I will for sure ask for 3 olives vodka whenever ordering anything with vodka in it! It was delicious!

Our appetizer was killer! OMG! I absolutely fell in love with it...I don't think Nichole & I talked while eating it...except "A bigger plate would be nice!" We ordered the 12 Layer Tortilla Cake. (12 layers of tortillas spread with caramelized garlic and onions, grilled and served with a delicious balsamic aioli) And come to think of it, we should've taken a picture of it, cause it was that good! I would go there for like 3 orders of it for lunch!

Nichole had the Seared Ahi Tuna Filet (rolled in sesame seeds, served over a bed of asian slaw, finished with sweet soy glaze and wasabi cream. Served with rice and veggies) It was really pretty on the plate, but wasn't so pretty in my mouth! I didn't care for it, though I dislike almost every kind of fish, except for a few...to be mentioned later.

I ordered their special they were having that night, which I don't think is on the menu. It was delicious until I saw the receipt! I almost freaked out and started to feel my stomach turn! Up until that point I was enjoying my Skirt Steak seasoned to perfection, served with garlic & rosemary mashed potatoes, hominy and grilled plantains. YUM-O, or wait "THAT'S SO MONEY!"...well then I saw what it said on our receipt...Buffalo Skirt Steak! I seriously thought I had just ate Buffalo!

I didn't take another bite until I talked to the waiter and asked if it was buffalo! He laughed and said "No, it's a Buffalo Seasoning..." Thank god! So I continued on to eat a few more bites.

We'll have to order a salad or something for dinner next time so that we can try a dessert, although they don't sound all that spectacular!

So that was our first girls night out! It was fun, definitely happening again next month and hopefully we're not so stuffed that we fall asleep later ;)

Coping..

So this morning I had my first counseling session. How many more are to follow I don't know, but I have another appointment next week.

I guess I'm having to go through this because apparently I still have issues from over 20 years ago. Which include loosing family members and very close friends either by death or someone else.

I know that when traumatic things happen in my life I don't usually talk about them and how I feel, which isn't good. You'd think that I could talk to my husband about it freely, I mean we've been each others support system for the past 9 years but for some reason, that's not how we cope.

I usually bitch and complain, get very irritable and annoyed with everyone. I go shopping to relieve stress which is never a good thing in the long run, but helps at the moment.

I'm still dealing with the death of my grandpa and haven't really accepted it I guess. I cried all night when it happened and had to take time off from work, and slept all weekend, but I haven't accepted it. Will I ever?

These boots were made for walkin'

And that's just what they'll do...one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

Actually, they'll be walking out to the car to drive over to the stadium for some cool summer concerts hopefully! There are a lot of concerts that I would LOVE to go see! Here's my short list of summer concert hopefuls...

1.GEORGE STRAIT (I HAVE to go if he comes within a 100 mile radius, no ifs ands or butts about it...I HAVE TO!)


2.Sugarland (I just love their new CD that is out now, so seeing them would just make it even that much more exciting!)


3.Brooks & Dunn (I went to see them for the second time 2 years ago along with Big & Rich and Keith Anderson, and the whole stadium was on their feet the WHOLE time...so you know it was a awesome show!)


4.Brad Paisley (Cause he's FUCKING HOT!!!!!!!!! and I can get away with wearing a lamp shade on my head!)


5.Britney Spears (just to see if she has her shit together...and because Nichole & I rocked her first album like the cool girls we were...or maybe cause Nichole was 12 and that's what all the little girls liked!)


6.BLONDIE (cause come on...she's coming to the casino that is an hour away from here, and how cool is that!)


7.Gary Allan (cause he's a hot Santa Barbara country cool surfer guy with a hot sexy tattooed body and a look that could make me...well... ;)

New things...

So I ordered some things for myself, WAY back in December...here it is the end of the first week in January!

I orginally was going to order a really cool 2009 ROSE BOWL tshirt, but went with this one instead. I love the Nittany Lion logo, more than the paw...and I rather my tshirts be plain & to the point...(wise choice!)


This is my favorite! I can't wait for it to get here. The coziness of a new sweatshirt is to die for! And with this wind and cold wet-ish weather we're having, I rather wear this than a jacket!


According to the nifty Fed-Ex tracking device in my email, this is the one will be here today. That is if the Chico trucks drive all the way to Yuba City. Hmm...maybe I'll buy a bottle (or two ;) of wine and shave my legs and have a exciting friday night for a change?

God help me if I was a CPS worker....

My brother and his ex-wife are the two most fucked up people I know right now. Actually, they are the only people I know that are this screwed up. I mean, how hard is it to give someone a correct address so that other family members can continue to show the kids that they are not forgotten and still loved, even though their parents probably couldn't give a rats ass about how they are treated and taken care of?

God it pisses me off so much to know the things that have been going on and how they are living. Brad and I have offered DOZENS of times to take the kids in ourselves, on our tight little budget for our own family and do what is right FOR THEM! I am willing to go on welfare to make sure that they are properly taken care of, well educated, clothed and fed every night and have someone there that they can talk to.

I want so badly to do what is right for them, but when I tried, I was told to NEVER talk to them again. To STOP calling them to make sure they are okay, and that THEY are not my FAMILY, and what is going on with them is NOT any of my concern.

OH really? I'm confused. I thought that when your brother has kids of his own, that automatically made you an Aunt, and therefore was entitled to know the well being of the kids and help out if ever necessary and do what is right for your family?

Am I wrong?

My New Year Resoultions...2009 edition

Here are a few places/things that I want to see & do in 2009

1.Go to San Fransisco for a week, so that my girls can experience the city by the bay like I did when I was a kid.
2.Go to a SF Giants game while in SF (preferably one against the Pirates!)
3.Spend more time with my grandma in the bay area
4.Take the girls to Knotts Berry Farm & Disney Land (It's free for them on their birthdays!)
5.Go to the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz
6.Go to Sonoma (it's really cool, there is a stagecoach ride that re-enacts a robbery! oh, and you can pan for gold!)
7.Go back to the Napa Valley for a long relaxing weekend (hint, hint Brad!)
8.Go to Portland (which may be happening when I go see Carissa in May!)
9.Do EVERY home improvement project we want to do to this house. (2 out of a million done!)
10.Win at least a couple grand at one of the casinos around here
11.Go to the movies more often.
12.Go see more concerts this summer (I hope some good ones come around!)
13.Go home to Pennsylvania for a couple weeks in June.
14.Go camping in July for Layla's birthday at Burney Falls
15.Go camping in Ft.Bragg, or at least go to the coast so the girls can see the ocean.
16.Get a six pack! (but that involves exercise...I'll think about it)
17.Eat more Thai food! (I'm so craving yellow curry right now)
18.Brace myself for the unexpected surprises that life throws my way
19.Plan my wedding vow renewal party...9 1/2 months away now!
20. GET OUT OF DEBT!!!

Love Potion #9

So my new friend, Nichole and I have been compared to Peas & Carrots...



Now I think this is quite funny since her and I have only hung out twice and seen eachother in person 3 times.

(Instant BFF's? I've never heard of such a thing!)

But, we do have a lot in common. Literaly! A lot of it is just strange Karma...what in the hell did I do in my past that made her come into my life?

(Not that it's a bad thing, I love ya!)

So, here is a re-cap for all you blog readers...which would only be about 5 people that I know of.

Nichole was married to my ex boyfriend, Bobby!
Bobby and my husband Brad, have the same birthday! EXACT same birthday!

(A lot of those number things are between me & Brad...like it was destiny for us! :)

But now, (which still throws me) Nichole is "Just Friends" with my ex, Erik!
(Oh, Erik's bday is the day after Brad & Bobby's!...KARMA I'm tellin' ya, she's a bitch!)

Erik's a great guy...little bit of a "swinger" as he likes to say, but an over all great guy.

(Oh, he happens to be a fireman too! (call 911!...or better, 1-800-390-SAVE!) LOL!!!)

So they are spending a lot of time together recently, which at first I admit, BUGGED the shit out of me! Which I was honest about with BOTH of them! But, I'm cool with it now.

TRUST ME!

I just never had girlfriends who I had to worry about dating someone that I dated...except once, but that didn't really count, cause it was a one night stand and I gave her my permission!

So, here's to new friendships between Nichole and Me



And here is where I'd put a picture of Nichole & Erik...but I haven't gotten the chance to hang out with them like the 3 bean salad we are...



Next time...

A little bit of soap never hurt anyone

So I just washed Layla's mouth out with soap.

This is the second time in her 5 years of life that I've had to do this.

The first time was probably when she was 3 or just turned 4. She used to scream all the time while playing/running around in the house. (acutally it was a very small 2 bedroom apartment) It was one of those LOUD high pitched scream that peirced your ears! So I made it very clear that it was unacceptable behavior and if she ever screamed like that again, she'd be having soap soup!

(IT WORKED LIKE A CHARM!)

And just now, well...for the last year and a half...she's developed this bossy, bratty, bully attitude! She talks back not only to me, but to daddy and her sister too! She bosses her older sister around, bullies her, hurts her, and does that "black-chick" neck thing while talking to you when she doesn't like what you said etc...

I'VE HAD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I grabbed her by the arm quietly, walked her into my bathroom and sat her on the counter. As soon as she saw that I was reaching for the soap out of the shower, she started crying! Coverig her mouth, and putting her head down! Well, tough mommy that I am, got the soap in and made her hold it there for a minute.

Then I quietly and calmly explained to her that her behavior is inappropriate, unacceptable and definitly out of line! I told her that she is a 5 year old little girl, not a boy! And that it's not nice to be a bully. Bullie's don't have friends because they are mean! Also that if I hear her doing/saying the things she has been, it'd happen again! Oh, and that Daddy will be finding out about this too, and if he hears/sees you doing these things, HE will get the soap!

Being a "mean" mommy sucks, but it's all worth it in the long run. My mom was "mean" and gave me the bar of soap many times...maybe that's why I never say bad things anymore??

I'm Sorry

Sorry Nichole...what I was blogging about wasn't coming out right...just couldn't get it to say what I was trying to say!

Next time!

This sums up my New Years Eve!